Friday, March 8, 2024

Three Poems By J.J Campbell

Like Teaching an Infant Algebra

another night where the first 

jack and coke quickly becomes 

your fourth


where the overs aren’t hitting

and the unders aren’t either


explaining a parlay to your date

is like teaching an infant algebra


your patience runs as thin

as her tolerance for alcohol


eventually, you’re smart enough 

to change the subject completely


compliment her looks


crack a joke, make her smile


fuck, i needed that three 

to go down


any chance of this night going 

well will only happen if we get 

the fuck out of here


check please


no, i’ll take care of the tip


just wait until your sexy ass

gets in the car



Natural Causes


you ever wonder about death


about what will be said when 

you are found prone, lifeless


who knows where the gun 

will be


or is it just me


natural causes doesn’t have 

that sexy ring to it like suicide 

or dancing with a train


of course, there is the asshole 

on my other shoulder


the one more geared toward 

logic, practical thought


he tends to believe my death 

will be mundane


in bed


probably with a belt around 

my neck trying to reach climax


it is always those straightlaced 

fuckers that have the most 

perverse thoughts resting 

under that comfortable 



the brain i use most often 

never thinks about death


he would simply like it if something

other than my hand would slide 

down there from time to time


A Night of Doing Strange Drugs


she had the taste of dr. pepper 

with a hint of a clove cigarette


i was in one of my underground 

music phases


she, for some reason, thought 

i was cool


i would prove her wrong 

soon enough


but this was a night of doing 

strange drugs


making out on a shitty couch


taking her home and her laughing 

when i asked if i could come in


i thought maybe she was flirting


apparently, sleep was more 



but still wired, i drove the night

looking for a hooker to break 

me in two


no luck


a drawback of the small cities 

of the midwest


she forgot i slipped her panties 

off while on the couch


they helped me make it through 

the night


Bio: J.J. Campbell (1976 - ?) was raised by wolves yet managed to graduate high school with honors. He's been widely published over the years, most recently at The Beatnik Cowboy, Synchronized Chaos, The Rye Whiskey Review, Horror Sleaze Trash and Misfit Magazine. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights.

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